Why!? Why do companies insist on messing with the classics? The O.G. Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza which for years was a staple in any child’s freezer. When mom was too busy to cook, pull a couple french breads out of the ice box, throw them in the microwave for 4 minutes and then dive in (inevitably burning the roof of your mouth on boiling, lava-hot, melted cheese).

Last night however, I decided to take a walk down memory lane and picked up a box of these at the local convenience store. Everything seemed in order until I got home and opened the box and realized the little paper crisping tray was gone. This seemed odd, but I figured microwave technology has come along way and perhaps our society has moved beyond “microwave baking sleeves.” I turn the box over and the microwave instructions were gone. In their place were oven and microwave + oven where you microwave the pizza for 2 minutes and then finish in the oven, which seems absolutely ridiculous to me.

Normally I would love to cook anything in the oven over the microwave, except that my oven was in the middle of a 5 hour self-clean cycle; a big part of the reason that I opted for a microwavable dinner in the first place. I figured, what do the people at Stouffer’s know? I’ve been microwaving these puppies since before these “food scientists” were graduating from Food University. I didn’t need any red-box instructions, 1 pizza takes 3.5 - 4 minutes on high. Unfortunately, without the magical tray, my pizza came out soggy on the inside, overcooked and rubbery on the outside. Sheer and utter disappointment! How could you do this to me Stouffer’s!? Bring it back!